Funny Friendship Quotes

ne measure of friendship consists not in the number of things friends can discuss, but in the number of things they need no longer mention. —-Clifton Fadiman


One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim. —– George Carlin


Don’t walk in front of me, I may not follow; Don’t walk behind me, I may not lead; Walk beside me, and just be my friend. —-Albert Camus


Friendship is like money, easier made than kept. —Samuel Butler


Business, you know, may bring money, but friendship hardly ever does. –Jane Austen


“A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked. —- Bernard Meltzer


Men kick friendship around like a football, but it doesn’t seem to crack. Women treat it like glass and it goes to pieces. —-Anne Morrow Lindbergh


A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway. —-Fr. Jerome Cummings


An old friend will help you move. A good friend will help you move a dead body.—- Jim Hayes


A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success! —Doug Larson


A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success! —- Doug Larson


I’ve always said that in politics, your enemies can’t hurt you, but your friends will kill you. —-Ann Richards


Friendship is a pretty full-time occupation if you really are friendly with somebody. You can’t have too many friends because then you’re just not really friends. —Truman Capote


You can always tell a real friend: when you’ve made a fool of yourself he doesn’t feel you’ve done a permanent job. —-Laurence J. Peter


Give me one friend, just one, who meets The needs of all my varying moods. —Esther M. Clark


“We English are good at forgiving our enemies; it releases us from the obligation of liking our friends. —– P.D. James


Your friends will know you better in the first minute they meet you than your acquaintances will know you in a thousand years. —-Richard Bach


I know all those people. I have friendly, social, and criminal relations with the whole lot of them. —— Mark Twain


To look almost pretty, is an acquisition of higher delight to a girl who has been looking plain the first fifteen years of her life, than a beauty from her cradle can ever receive. —Jane Austen


ou can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you. —Dale Carnegie


Don’t walk behind me, I may not lead. Don’t walk in front of me, I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend. —- Albert Camus


Love is blind. Friendship tries not to notice. —– Anonymous


I hate it in friends when they come too late to help. —-Euripides


Win hearts, and you have hands and purses. —Lord Burleigh


It is wise to apply the oil of refined politeness to the mechanisms of friendship.–Colette


A true friend stabs you in the front. —- Oscar Wilde


When someone allows you to bear his burdens, you have found deep friendship. —Anonymous


You can make more friends in two months by becoming really interested in other people, than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you. —-Bernard Meltzer


Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy. —-Spike Milligan


Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light. —Helen Keller


Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one. —-C.S. Lewis


A real friend is someone who you can sit in complete silence with and still walk away feeling like you just had the best conversation of your life. —Anon


A good friend can tell you what is the matter with you in a minute. He may not seem such a good friend after telling. —-Arthur Brisbane


Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It’s not something you learn in school. But if you haven’t learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven’t learned anything. —-Muhammad Ali


wo are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe unto him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. —The Bible: Ecclesiastes 4:9-10.


He who has a thousand friends has not a friend to spare,
And he who has one enemy will meet him everywhere. —– Ali ibn-Abi-Talib .


Friendship multiplies the good of life and divides the evil. —Baltasar Gracian


Where youth and diffidence are united, it requires uncommon steadiness of reason to resist the attraction of being called the most charming girl in the world. —Jane Austen


Friendship is possible only because people do not say to your face the things they say behind your back.
The death of a friend is equivalent to the loss of a limb.
Friendship is certainly the finest balm for the pangs of disappointed love.
Jane Austen

Friends are those rare people who ask how you are and then wait to hear the answer.
Unknown

Sad Life Quotes

Here’s a collection of some sad life quotes to evaporate your sadness and give you hope for a more fulfilled and happy life.
A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic. —–Joseph Stalin


You’ll cry when you know your not the only thing on his mind!
A sad thing in life is that sometimes you meet someone who means a lot to you only to find out in the end that it was never bound to be and you just have to let go.
The saddest aspect of life right now is that science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom. —-Isaac Asimoy


Life isn’t fair. It’s just fairer than death, that’s all. —-William Goldman, “The Princess Bride”
There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year’s course. Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word ‘happy’ would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness. —–Carl Jung


A sad thing in life is that sometimes you meet someone who means a lot to you only to find out in the end that it was never bound to be and you just have to let go.
My feeling is that there is nothing in life but refraining from hurting others, and comforting those who are sad. —-Olive Schreiner


The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.
You know how people say hate is a strong word, well that word isn’t strong enough to tell how I feel about you.


The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it. —-W. M. Lewis
There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year’s course. Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word ‘happy’ would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness. —–Carl Jung


The saddest summary of a life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, and should have. —– Louis E. Boone


When you were born, you were crying, and everyone around you was smiling. live your life so that when you die, you’re smiling, and everyone around you is crying…” =)
The essential sadness is to go through life without loving. But it would be almost equally sad to leave this world without ever telling those you loved that you love them.
When I do something great, no one ever seems to remember, but when I do something wrong, no one can ever seem to forget.


We enjoy warmth because we have been cold. We appreciate light because we have been in darkness. By the same token, we can experience joy because we have known sadness.
My feeling is that there is nothing in life but refraining from hurting others, and comforting those who are sad. —–Olive Schreiner


It’s such a lie that you should do what’s in your heart. If we all did what was in our hearts, the world would come to a halt. -my so called life.


Man is born passionate of body, but with an innate though secret tendency to the love of Good in his main-spring of Mind. But God help us all! It is at present a sad jar of atoms. —-Lord Byron
As a well-spent day brings happy sleep, so a life well spent brings happy death. —-Leonardo da Vinci

Words of Encouragement

Do not let the disappointments and problems of life discourage you for they are minor glitches which will fade away as you go through them. Keep your eyes straight on your dream and stay consistent in the pursuit of your goals. Read on for some words of encouragement to help yourself keep encouraged in those trying moments of life.
Anonymous

When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place.
William Arthur Ward

Flatter me, and I may not believe you. Criticize me, and I may not like you. Ignore me, and I may not forgive you. Encourage me, and I will not forget you. Love me and I may be forced to love you.
Aeschylus

When a man is willing and eager, the gods join in.
Henry Van Dyke

Some succeed because they are destined to, but most succeed because they are determined to.
Ellen Gould White

God gives opportunities; Success depends upon the use made of them.
Karl Albrecht

Don’t let the opinions of average man sway you. Dream and he thinks you’re crazy. Succeed, and he thinks you are lucky. Acquire wealth, and he thinks you are greedy. Pay no attention, and he simply doesn’t understand.
Unknown

Instead of giving myself reasons why I can’t, I give myself reasons why I can.
Richard Bach

What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly.
Dr. James G. Bilkey

You never will be the person you can be if pressure, tension and discipline are taken out of your life.
Joe Namath

If you are not going all the way, why go at all?
Alexander Graham Bell

When one door closes another door opens;
but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door,
that we do not see the ones which open for us.
Elizabeth Harrison

Those who are lifting the world upward and onward are those who encourage more than criticize.
Dale Carnegie

Any fool can try to defend his or her mistakes- and most fools do- but it raises one above the herd and gives one a feeling of nobility and exultation to admit one’s mistakes.
Benjamin Spock

Trust Yourself. You know more than you think you do.
George Adams

Note how good you feel after you have encouraged someone else. No other argument is necessary to suggest that never miss the opportunity to give encouragement.
Theodore N. Vail

Real difficulties can be overcome; it is only the imaginary ones that are unconquerable.
Mark Twain

When you cannot get a compliment any other way pay yourself one.
DANTE ALIGHIERI

Without hope we live in desire.
Norman Cousins

The tragedy of life is not death, but what we let die inside of us while we live.
Ashley Montagu

The deepest personal defeat suffered by human being is constituted by the difference between what one was capable of becoming and what one has in fact become.
Mother Teresa

There are no great acts. There are only small acts done with great love.
Woodriw Wilson

You are not here to merely make a living. You are here in order to enable the world to live more amply, with greator vision, with a finer spirit of hope and achievement. You are here to enrich the world, and you impoverish yourself if you forget the errand.
Thoreau

If man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away.
Harrison Ford

You have to have a darkness…
for the dawn to come.
H.G. Wells

Man must not allow the clock and the calander to blind him to the face that each moment of his life is a miracle and the mystery.
Reinhold Niebuhr

God. Give us grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, courage to change the things which should be changed, and the wisdom to distinguish one from the other.
Seneca

It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is bcause we do not dare that they are difficult.
The tree that has most fruit is the tree that bends to the ground.
Ben Hogan

As you walk down the fairway of life, you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round.
The only true measure of success is the ratio between what we might have done and what we might have been on the one hand, and the things we have done and the things we have made ourselves on the other.
H.G, Wells

There can be no great courage where there is no confidence or assurance, and half the battle is in the conviction that we can do what we undertake.
Orison Swett Marden

The greatest revolution of my generation is the discovery that individuals, by changing their inner attitudes of mind, can change the outer aspects of their lives.
Dr. William James

Saw a though and you reap an action;
saw am action and you reap a habit;
saw a habit and you reap a character;
saw a character and you reap a destiny.
Famous Saying

The only limit to our realization of tommorrow will be our doubts of today. Let us move forward with strong and active faith.
Franklin Delano Roosevelt

The culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves. And you have to be strong enough to say if the culture doesn’t work, don’t buy it.
Tuesday with morrie

There is in the worst of fortune the best chances for a happy change. Euripides
Daring ideas are like chessmen moved forward; they may be beaten but they may start a winning game. – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored
every step of the way.
Author Unknown 

Winners have simply formed the habit
of doing things losers don’t like to do.
Albert Gray

Rest and you rust.
Helen Hayes

Above all challenge yourself. You may well surprise yourself at what strengths you have, what you can accomplish.
Cecile Springer

Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle.
Abraham Lincoln

I believe that if we are conditioned into believing something is true, then that’s what will happen.
Sandy Foster

Every evening I turn my worries over to God.
He’s going to be up all night anyway.
Mary C. Crowley

The best place to find a helping hand is at the end of your own arm.
Unknown

Don’t forget to submit your favorite words of encouragement and quotes in the comment section below.

Life is Like Quotes and Sayings

Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get.
Forrest Gump

Life is like an Ice-cream, enjoy it before it melts.
Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you’re in it, but the longer you stay in, the more wrinkled you get.
Anonymous

Life is like an apple. You gradually take bites and eventually, you get to the core.
Carly Michelle

Life is like music, it must be composed by ear, feeling and instinct, not by rule. Nevertheless one had better know the rules, for they sometimes guide in doubtful cases, though not often.
Samuel Butler

Life is like a B-movie. You don’t want to leave in the middle of it but you don’t want to see it again.
Ted Turner

Life is like a rainbow:
You need both the sun and the rain
To make its colors appear.
A. Ramaiya

Life is like a mirror, if you frown at it, it frowns back; if you smile, it returns the greeting.
Unknown

Life is like a parachute jump: you have to get it right the first time.
Margaret Mea

Life is like a flower garden, each flower with it’s own leaves, stem, and bud, it’s own seed, and it’s own way of growing.
To me, life is like the back nine in golf. Sometimes you play better on the back nine. You may not be stronger, but hopefully you’re wiser. And if you keep most of your marbles intact, you can add a note of wisdom to the coming generation.
Clint Eastwood

Life is like riding a bicycle. You don’t fall off unless you plan to stop peddling.
Claude Pepper

Life is like a coin. You can spend it any way you wish, but you only spend it once.
Lillian Dickson

Life is like a Ferrari, it goes too fast. But that’s ok, because you can’t afford it anyway.
Jim Davis

Life is like a roller coaster; you get jerked one way and another, and you never know whats around the corner, but you just got to enjoy the ride!
Life is like an onion. Why is life like an onion? Because you peel away layer after layer and when you come to the end you have nothing.
Yiddish Proverb

Life is like eating artichokes, you have got to go through so much to get so little.
Aloysius Dorgan

Life is like photography we develop from negatives.
Life is like a taxi. The meter just keeps a-ticking whether you are getting somewhere or just standing still.
Lou Erickson

Life is like a book we can either study it or let it gather dust on the shelves of the world.
Rene Godefroy

Life is like rain falling down the window… into the dirt… where we’ll eventually be buried… so might as well start enriching ourselves now.
ST

Life is like a ten-speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use. Nice Word by
Charles Schulz

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain’t the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
Lewis Grizzard

Life is like the game of Soccer,
in which you score points but often get kicks.
Life is like a snowball. The important thing is finding wet snow and a really long hill.
Warren Buffett

Life is like a gamble, sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. But whatever cards in life, whether club, spade or diamond, always remember, never play with the heart.
aj_omegared

Life is like a piano. Anyone can play a song through meaningless repetition, But it takes passion to play a masterpiece.
Life is like walking through snow. Every step shows.
Jess Lair

Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.
Samuel Butler

Funny Family Quotes

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
George Burns

You’ll see a lot of funny stuff, you’ll see a lot of daddy-knows-best stuff, you’ll see a lot of me and my wife trying to hold the family together.
Russell Simmons

I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible…and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary.
Victor Borge

I can get up in the morning and look myself in the mirror and my family can look at me too and that’s all that matters.
Lance Armstrong

Just remember…crazy runs in my family.
Unknown

If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.
George Bernard Shaw

A three year old child is one who gets as much fun out of a set of swings as it does out of finding a worm.
Bill Vaughan

A parent who has never apologized to his children is a monster. If he’s always apologizing, his children are monsters.
Mignon McLaughlin

The family – that dear octopus from whose tentacles we never quite escape, nor, in our inmost hearts, ever quite wish to.
Dodie Smith

I sang in the choir for years, even though my family belonged to another church.
Paul Lynde

If you don’t believe in ghosts, you’ve never been to a family reunion.
Ashleigh Brilliant

Family is just accident…. they don’t mean to get on your nerves. They don’t even mean to be your family, they just are.
Marsha Norman