I’m afraid I’m not personally qualified to confuse cats, but I can recommend an extremely good service.
From movie Flying Circus
Good morning! And in case I don’t see you: good afternoon, good evening and good night.
From The Trueman Show
It’s as if I’ve taken love heroin, and now I can’t ever have it again.
From movie Notting Hill
Woman having a flashback: I remember the day the girls came over for bridge club. I was so embarrassed because of lingering odors.
From movie Kentucky Fried
Mrs. White: ‘Husbands should be like Kleenex: soft, strong, and disposable.’
From movie Clue
Harry: Yeah I called her up, she gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her, or something, I don’t know, I wasn’t really paying attention.
From Movie Dumb and Dumber
I am kind of a big deal.
You are literally too stupid to insult.
Gentlemen. You can’t fight in here. This is the War Room.
Peter Sellers
My mum, a strange creature from the time when pickles on toothpicks were still the height of sophistication.
Bridget Jones’s Diary
You have got to take the upper hand in all situaltions, cause people, whether they’re dead or alive, will walk all over you!
Delia Deets
Men are rats. Listen to me, they’re fleas on rats. Worse than that, they’re amoebas on fleas on rats.
Sell crazy someplace else . . . we’re all stocked up here.
Beauty often seduces us on the road to truth.
When a naked man is chasing a woman through an alley with a butcher’s knife and a hard-on, I figure he isn’t out collecting for the Red Cross!
You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly, but I bet you ain’t never seen a donkey fly! Ha, ha!
Eddie Murphy, Shrek
I totally want to cut off your skin and wear it to my birthday… It’s coming up.
Blades of Glory
I don’t know if my wife left me because of my drinking or I started drinking ’cause my wife left me.
Leaving Las Vegas
Taj: In my country, a woman’s mastery of her gastronomical releases is considered the ultimate aphrodisiac!
Van Wilder
Steve Stifler: I say, why don’t you guys locate your d**ks, remove the shrink wrap, and f**king *use* them!
American Pie
For the experiment to be a success, all of the body parts must be enlarged.
Young Frankenstein
Oh, oh, I see, running away then. You cowardly offensive man! Come back here and take what you deserve to get. I’ll bite your legs off!
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Once a month the sky falls on my head, I come to, and I see another movie I want to make.
Steven Spielberg
Brian, I’m gonna be honest with you, that smells like pure gasoline.
Anchorman
There’s no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you’ll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?”
Airplane
No, not the curtains, lad. All that you can see, stretched out over the hills and valleys of this land! This’ll be your kingdom, lad.
I don’t want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member.
Groucho Marx.
Feel free to submit your favorite funny movie quotes in the comment section below.
